How to find out people’s true intentions

So you’ve just met someone new and you want to find out their true colours, their real intentions, their real motives and their real agendas. Is that you out their today? Not really sure with who you are hanging around with? It happens to all of us by the way and right now we are connecting more people through our life’s than ever before, but at the same time we’re also having a communication problem. A lot of the times you could say that you’ve got over two thousand friends, but only on social media, whereas in real life it’s a whole entirely different story. I’m going to share with you how to find out what people are really like deep down.

 

 

  • Asking huge favours after just meeting. I remember meeting a person briefly one year ago where after meeting them the day after they said that I was a cool guy and that they wanted me to transfer them £100 as they were wanting to borrow money from me. Obviously I was blown away as it was a big favour being asked when I didn’t even know who this indivudal was as we just met. So what I got from that message is that many times we’re around certain people who we don’t even know well and they ask us for these outlandish favours. What these reveal about people is that these are the takers. In life you’ve got givers and then you’ve got takers, and you do get some people who just want to take from you, me personally I’m a giver. So I said to this person I couldn’t afford it, and then I didn’t even hear back from them. So that’s where you know that they just wanted that favour and nothing else, no interest in you. Life is about give and take, it’s all about being reciprocal.

 

  • Wait until the end of everything. Time always reveals everything and people’s true colours in the end. So don’t worry about it, just focus on yourself and rise higher because it’s not about seeing other people’s true self, it’s about us knowing and understanding our own self. It’s happened to me in life, there were times where I’d be good friends with a person, then all of a sudden something happens and then their true colours come through. It could also happen through dating, in the end is when you know more about that person, because when people both go on a date everyone is smiling and laughing. Although the thing is that everyone on those dates are putting on this persona about themselves, so you don’t really know who that person is really until you go through a hard time together. In the end peoples true self’s are revealed, I’ve realised this that even if things didn’t work out that my true inner self will remain the same as it did at the beginning, but if people start changing because they can’t get their own way, then they reveal how they were really feeling to begin with as they’re just trying to hide that, besides you can’t hide the truth. So you just need to wait until the end to find out if someone really has been amazing to you all along or not.

 

  • How people treat you says a lot about how they feel about themselves. It’s got nothing to do with you as in the majority of cases it’s got everything to do with how this person feels about themselves. If someone is swearing at you then it’s probably how they talk towards themselves in their head. If they don’t show you any respect or gratitude, chances are that they don’t show themselves any respect or gratitude. Everything is a mirror, and in a lot of cases we are all projecting onto other people, although it’s not in terms of every single case as certain times we have to get really straight with people and tell them certain things, which they may not want to hear, but it’s all about how you tell that person something. I always say that if someone is telling you something look at how they are saying it, so is it true, kind? And are they being honest? When people talk to you in a certain way maybe it’s not pleasant, maybe they’re not kind, maybe and in a lot of cases they’ve never been shown kindness in their life’s. Which is why they don’t know how to give it to you or other people. So I’ve always realised that if someone is treating me a certain way and it’s really positive then that’s how they really see themselves, as a person who is positive, optimistic and has a phenomenal attitude. If it’s not then they see themselves as feeling not worthy, never being shown that in their life, or through their childhood experiences, or it could just be that someone is basically just an arsehole. In a lot of cases people project onto you, that’s when people’s true self’s come out when they dump their emotional baggage onto you.

 

  • I will only be friends with you if.. If there’s an ‘If’, then you start to see people’s true intentions, if you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours, if you don’t then you start to see people’s true intentions with things. If your friendship has a terms and conditions, or a contract where they say that they’ll only become friends with you if you do this or if you dress a certain way etc. Well the thing is that a lot of friendships are like that. Let’s go back to high school where you had a popular group, and then a middle group, and then a not so popular group, and then the weirdos, I was a weirdo. So many of us we live our life’s like that, and that’ show to really discover someone’s true self. Are they only friends with you because they can get somewhere or are they genuinely friends with you because they actually like you? You’ve got friends and then you’ve got aquintances, friendship is a whole different sotry it’s when someone messages you at 2am after they’ve been out late asking if you’re ok. Aquintances is like you’ve just won the lottery and then the person asks you what fancy restaurant you want to go out and eat at. They’re never there to help set up the party, they’re only there to come and drink and get drunk. Real friends will help you set up and they’ll drink too.

 

  • I will only love you if.. That’s if your love is based once again on terms and conditions, and inevitably that is the toxic relationship. You want a relationship in which doesn’t have a contract and that there are no terms and conditions, where it’s unconditional. There is a reason why the divorce rate has increased because many people say they love the other person when they don’t really love them. What it is, is that they’ll only love you if you fulfil all the requirements needed, and if you don’t then they don’t love you anymore, and that’s how to discover someone’s true intentions. When you truly love someone it’s like the love a mother has for her child, it’s really unconditional and a lot of us will never really experience that. We say I love this person but once they don’t do what you want them to, or the tide changes then they say that they don’t want to talk to this person anymore. So what were you talking about to begin with? So people’s true being comes out in relationships, if someone genuinely does love you then they will still be friends with you even if the relationship didn’t pan out right the way you wanted it to be.

 

  • I will only do this for you if.. I’m a lot like that myself because I feel it’s so beautiful to be reciprocal. I will only do this if you do that, which is good but then again there are some of us who take it to the extreme where they will only do this deed for me firstly. I’ve learned that it’s all about if you want to give then just give. For example I write and share my blog posts but you don’t have to sned me your blog posts, plus I love to do it, I love to help people out as  much as I can. We discover people’s true intentions when they do things for us only because they want something back, but those who truly give people their heart, they don’t want anything back because they have already filled their own cup. Being reciprocal is amazing, but if you’ve got to give, please just give and don’t have to tell everybody how much you’ve given. Such as when I see people on social media posting about how they gave money and food to a homeless person on the street. I personally thin kit’s the wrong thing to do, as they are only doing so to gain recognition from their peers and to get that almighty great dopamine rush from the amount of like’s that they’ll get.

 

  • Gossip. If someone gossips to you then there’s a high chance that they’ll gossip about you. Is that happening to you in your life? People talking to you about other people? They’re doing that to you too. I don’t entertain gossiping because I know that it’s a low frequency, it’s entertaining but in the long run it won’t last. So you begin to discover someone’s true intentions even more, when you are very aware of the kind of energy that you feel that they are bringing to you. Are they bringing you drama? Or are they bringing you something that you can live off forever? They’re talking to you about how amazing someone is, how about that instead of saying negative things about a person, you discover a lot about people always trying to create problems. So become aware in what this person is bringing you on a regular basis.

 

  • The emotional pattern. Certain times people wonder why people have changed when we’ve been around them. Like your friends that you’ve always been cool with, you can talk to them about anything and everything having deep conversations. And at times they go a bit weird around you and crazy, which in itself is beautiful thing too, but underneath it all, the both of you have this stable emotional pattern when you are around each other. Sometimes however, we are around people were there are a lot of erratic emotional patterns, where they change instantly. One day it’s like they think that you’re amazing, and another day it’s like they don’t want to talk to you, is that happening to you? It’s happened to me before with people,including myself acting these type of ways. That’s why I have compassion to people who are doing that right now, because I’ve been included in these acts myself. A lot of times you realld do need compassion as most of these people don’t even know who they are themselves, although they’ll find out one day.

 

  • Up bringers and down bringers. There are people who are afraid if you succeed, so they want to only bring you down, and if you’re hanging around someone who’s constantly criticizing you and they call you their friend, well the chances are they;’re probably not. Real friends criticize you to help you grow, you have these up lifters in life. I’ve connected with so many up lifters, their always happy for me and I’m always happy for them as I can see their true intentions. Then there are people on this planet believe it or not who just wish people well and it’s an incredible thin to see. The people who bring you down are always trying to see what’s working for you, they’re always trying to bring havoc into your life, so avoid them at all costs.
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Here’s why you’re socially awkward

Do you feel socially awkward every time you’re out and about? You get people that say that they’re so socially awkward they find it hard to live their own lives the way they think they want to. You feel this way when you’re out at the shopping centre, when you’re eating with somebody at a restaurant and just casually walking around and now you have a panic attack.

 

The thing is that I grew up socially awkward for the most part of my life, from when I would go to the local shops with my mum, to being in high school almost every single day, to going on holiday and basically any public place that I was at I was always riddled with anxiety and I would just feel so awkward and nervous. I found it extremely difficult to talk to people who weren’t family or friends of me. This is what I found out on how to combat social awkwardness, so I’ll show you the reasons why you are socially awkward.

 

  • You believe the hype. In our own minds we have hierarchy, so if you’re working in a job with a manager, that manager has a manager, and that manager has another manager, well you’re going to feel awkward because you may think to yourself that you’re a nobody. Let’s say you go to a party, you’re having a drink and everyone there is talking about their fabulous career, they’re talking about how amazing their life is, travelling to different countries. Though in your mind you’re thinking to yourself you’re just at home all the time when you’re not working. Well, that in itself is good enough, that’s amazing so why don’t you see it? So you believe in the hype that everybody’s life is more glamorous than your own, so whenever you are out and about you have this mind-set that everybody has got it all figured out and that was me for a long period of time. Up until I noticed that they real secret is that nobody knows what they are doing because we’re all just walking around on a planet that’s spinning very fast. So just be transparent, imagine everyone is naked just now, and the fact that everyone goes to the toilet.

 

  • Repetitive meet and greets. You might meet someone, and every time you meet them you say the exact same thing this person, for example “How are you? I’m fine. You’re right. Ok, bye!”. This all gets a bit tiresome, you’re exasperated and in fact you don’t want to even meet this person because you already know what you’re going to say to each other. That’s why it feels so awkward because it feels so forced. The organic flow is when you dive deeper into the conversation with deep questions such as, “What’s you biggest childhood memory? What would you say was your best quality? Who’s had the biggest influence on you?” There is way more than that but in essence it’s the after effect that loosens the both of you up to each other. You’re socially awkward because your conversations simply don’t go anywhere and there’s this awkward silence. So in order to stop that just dive deeper into the conversation, get intimate with people and ask more questions.

 

  • The comparing mind. I was always comparing my life to other people’s and that’s  one of the greatest traps for your anxiety, because you feel that you’re being left behind somewhere and everybody else is getting on with their life and your life isn’t moving anywhere, you feel like you’re just stuck. However that is just the belief because really it’s all false, these kinds of belief systems. So what I started to do was to create my own league, to stop thinking that you can know someone’s life just because of their Facebook selfie. The thing is, that that’s not real, that’s just the part of their life. So you stop comparing yourself to other people when you learn how to love yourself one hundred per cent, and then you take the focus off how marvellous you think other people’s life’s are and then you start thinking that you’ve actually got a lot going for yourself right now. When you’re around these people you can actually hold your ground, stand up tall and have a great conversation. You feel socially awkward because you feel inadequate you don’t feel worthy to be in other people’s presence because someone has told you that you’re no good, well who’s told you that? You. So just stop comparing yourself, comparison is the greatest thief of joy.

 

  • Not expressing emotions. What I’ve learned in my life was that I was unable to express a full range of emotions. If you can express your emotions, it means that you are relaxed to express whatever is going on in that mind of yours. A lot of people are just sharing one kind of emotion, and at certain times, like if you’re with friends but you don’t really tap into different emotions. We feel much more relaxed around people when we can open up emotionally to them, that’s how to be beat social awkwardness by learning to express the full range of emotions by being around people who respect you and you just don’t care on how they perceive you.

 

  • Not showing the real you. I was really socially awkward because people didn’t know the real me, from what I remember in school whilst in my teens, around the friends that I have, I remember that I just felt odd like I was an alien and that if they really knew how I thought at the moment then I probably wouldn’t have any friends. The bottom line is that you are afraid of people seeing the real you and that is why in society people try so hard to be accepted, to just fit in. They know that their own minds are pretty crazy, so it’s this mind-set that they want to fit in and that they don’t want people to see who they really are. I’ve got news for you, the people who really love you for you will accept you for who you really are. So show all the different sides of you because then you will meet your real friends.

 

  • You’re not showing your vulnerability. I realised that I was ashamed to be vulnerable, I always had the thought that I had to be this macho man, I can only show my mental and physical strengths but never my weaknesses, that I’ve got to talk to people trying to show I was “cool” and that I can’t express my sensitivity. Then I realised that that’s simply just a load of nonsense because I actually like elephants, cartoons and so many different things. I like the good sensitive life, classical jazz music, going to an amazing spot to watch the sunset, that’s all cool for me. So being vulnerable with help you overcome social awkwardness, learn to show people that you aren’t perfect, that you still have challenges. That’s why I’ve connected with so many people, I’m not here to show you how perfect I am because nobody is perfect, I’m actually here to show you how I’ve worked on my imperfections, how I’ve accepted them and how they have helped me in becoming my greatest version. Vulnerability is the human element, that’s how you create this beautiful connection with someone else, when you’re able to be vulnerable with them and you don’t have to appear like you are this person with no problems because that’s not the truth.

 

  • Being in the wrong environment. What I’ve seen through my life as what I was in the wrong environment for a long time, in an environment where I felt alone even though there were people around me. This was also when I was in high school, in my classes I just felt that I couldn’t really connect with the people that I was around, I felt socially awkward because once again it was that repetitive meet and greet. Even when I moved to Glasgow in my first one or two months living in student accommodation and in college I wasn’t really resonating with these kind of environments. So ask yourself if you’re really suited to the environment that you’re in, certain environments work better for different people at certain times. You’ve got to know the best environment in which you thrive in becoming your greatest self.

 

  • Not loving yourself. We go through life scratching our heads and a lot of us simply don’t love ourselves. When everyone at your table is talking, you feel like your voice doesn’t matter, so you let everybody else talk while you remain silent, so of course you’re going to feel awkward. Well the thing is that your voice does matter and anything that you say is just as important as anything that they say. That’s really what did it for me, to thin that I wasn’t going to be silent when everyone else is talking and actually say something, so I started to be less socially awkward because I started to say what I felt.

 

  • You feel you aren’t being heard. Whenever we feel nobody is really listening to us, then that’s a really socially awkward moment. So surround yourself with people were you feel heard, loved and cared for, you see right now we are living in great times of change, so much is happening on Earth and you want to realise that your opinion matters because it does. Plus who you are matters too and you are worthy to be in the presence of anybody.

How to start loving yourself more

Do you love yourself? I didn’t love myself for a long time and there are a lot of people who say that they don’t love themselves right now. We are often told in this society that you just have to be humble, because if you love yourself, you are described as being the opposite; cocky, arrogant, self-centered and that you only really care about yourself and nobody else. The thing is that can’t be further from the truth because the people who love themselves the most have the most to give, because of the fact that you can’t give, if you don’t have.

 

  • Go to the place where you find your greatest power, the place in which you are most comfortable. For me it’s when I’m making people laugh, for you it could be dancing, playing football or editing your photography. After being in your place, you instantly feel more power that you automatically begin to love yourself. Before you can do that you’ve got to invest in your own power, so for example with me I had to add humour and have the confidence to express it into my interactions with people, for you it could be that you have to buy a new camera for your photography.

 

  • Neuroscience shows us that you can rewire your brain to be happy if you say three things that you are grateful for every single day for around twenty days or so. So you can now start changing the synchronicity of your brain. For me; I’m grateful to still be alive, grateful for people out there who help other people whilst expecting nothing in return, and grateful for the current people that I associate with in my life at the present moment. Practise gratitude to love yourself.

 

  • Stop believing in the opinions of other people. Other people tell us things about ourselves but it’s not the truth, it’s just coming from their own point of view, their own opinions. So you have to start changing on how you see yourself as that’s really the only thing that matters as in what it means to you and how it looks like to yourself.

 

  • We get annoyed with ourselves through mistakes and bad decisionsn, but the truth of the matter is that no amount of guilt is going to change what had happened. For me personally this was a hard lesson that I had to accept, that it doesn’t matter at how mad that I get at myself because it is what it is. What’s going to help me right now though is seeing what I’m going to do about it right now and how I am going to overcome my mistakes and bad decisions. Instead of dwelling in the past you’ve got to focus on the present, the now.

 

  • Your job, do you like it? I’ve never really liked every single one of my jobs for a long time. Some jobs I’ve loved and there are some jobs in which I’ve hated. I’ve had to honour that and think to myself that his job is not for me as I’m not happy here, and that’s how to love yourself, by not tolerating mediocrity. Work in a job that puts a smile on your face every single day. In fact the truth is that you don’t even need to rely on a particular job to create a lifestyle that serves you positively in helping you become the best you can be as a person, your greatest version.

 

  • Being in a truly loving relationship, as in when you learn to respect yourself enough to surround yourself with people who respect your weirdness. I’m a weirdo and you’re a weirdo, in fact every single person that you meet is a weirdo. If someone loves you for who you are and you don’t have to change anything about you, whether that will be acting differentl or even dressing to impress all the time, then that’s how you love yourself. If you’ve got people rooting for you, supporting you, cheering you on every step of the way and not people who are talking bad about you, talking behind your back as nobody wants that.

 

  • Fill your own cup. You see the greatest relationship begins with yourself and filling your own cup is when you learn that self-love begins with self-validation. So validate your own existence. By filling your own cup you’re creating the eternal happiness which only comes from accepting yourself one hundred per cent. If someone says that they don’t like me, well the truth is that it’s got nothing at all to do with me, because I like who I am, and that is all that matters. Filling your own cup is why people who love themselves can always share, I care about myself and I’m always relaxed, besides relaxation is what you are, and stress is what you think you should be. Learn self-care and don’t always place yourself in stressful situations.

 

Lastly, I want you to realise that loving yourself gives rise to being more confident, being more confident gives rise to trust, trust gives rise to belief, belief gives rise to manifestation. It’s all connected.

My solutions to stop procrastinating

Are you a procrastinator? You want to leave it all until tomorrow? I’ve been a procrastinator and for along time I was always putting things off until next week, tomorrow, next Tuesday, Wednesday, basically anytime but just not right now because I don’t know what I’m doing right now. So I’m going to share with you what has helped me through the years to stop procrastinating with my very own simple secrets.

 

  • It’s OK to be indecisive. Indecisiveness is intuition, sometimes the universe is doing you a favour. Do you remember when you were just about to go to that party then later you had found out that something bad had happened there? Well thank goodness you were indecisive, we often view being indecisive as weak and frail in our society, what I think is that it’s OK to even sit on the fence. I’m a Gemini, I’m naturally intuitive and sometimes when friends ask me if I want to go out, then I’ll think about it, “I’ll get back to you”. It’s a lot better to say that than say ‘Yes’ when you really want to say ‘No’, and ‘No’ when you really want to say ‘Yes’. It’s OK to sit on the fence and if you’ve been sitting on the fence for along time, don’t leave it until your butt starts to get sore. So it’s OK to be indecisive, it just means that you’re intuitive.

 

  • Intuition. So many of us are disconnected in the planet, because once again we’re not in touch with nature. What’s helped me is that I realised I was procrastinating a lot because when I was unemployed and applying for jobs, I actually got interviews with them and then I was like “Ah, I don’t want to do this!”. Because I was thinking that I will just do it another time. Now that was my intuition talking, knowing better than my mind that actually to wait a minute, because what am I getting myself into? So to stop procrastinating realise that there is an inner voice inside of you, you’ve got to keep that alive and stop trying to shut it up, then you release resistance, then naturally you fall into alignment of what you should be doing here. Do you know when people procrastinate the most? It’s when they force themselves to do something that they don’t want to do.

 

  • We have priorities but we don’t have a priority. A lot of people doing so many different things at once. As soon as I wake up I exercise, whether it is home workouts or even better when I go for a run, I’m always in nature, I don’t just go on the laptop or go through Facebook on my phone straight away because I realise that if I do that I’m going to become distracted from my main focus. When you have so many different priorities, you want to do this and that, that’s a lot of stuff so of course you are going to procrastinate as you are overwhelming yourself and you don’t even realise that you are. So for me it was all about focussing on one thing and then you take off the pressure, it feels like a walk in the park.

 

  • The paradox of choice. Now let’s say I was to offer you ten of your favourite types of food, which are you doing to go for and eat first? It’s difficult to choose isn’t it? So I’ve realised that I was getting myself into a situation where I had too much choice around me and that’s the reason that I was procrastinating. The paradox of choice is this – sometimes people who don’t have a lot of choice, sometimes you just know what your purpose is you don’t procrastinate because it’s one direction. Once you have so much choice, a lot of people don’t even know what their life purpose is, they’re applying to this job and that job way to much because you don’t know what you want, so you’ve got to know what you want in order to stop procrastinating by making fewer choices, make it easy for yourself. So simplify and simplify.

 

  • Take one step at a time. A lot of people are tripping up all over the place. Ever been to those all you can eat buffets? It’s crazy, you’ve got too much food on your plate so put it back. Though if you put less on your plate you can finish it and then if you want you can go and get more, so it’s all about one step at a time. What’s helped me is to not be a perfectionist. Time and time again I meet people who are very depressed and it often emanated from being a perfectionist, you want to make everything perfect, so you are procrastinating because you don’t want to start as you are afraid of starting because you want to make it perfect, which is why your level of productivity is diminished, compared to someone who just goes for it, so just go for it and dive right in, then you’ll see what happens, have fun most of all, so one step at a time.

 

  • You’ve got to heal past trauma. We procrastinate because of a bad experience. We leave things until tomorrow and next week because a few years back something really bad happened to us, that’s why we don’t want it to happen again, we would love for any delay to come around us. If you go back to your subconscious mind how it works is that we’re afraid to do certain things, which has put you in pain in the past, so we do anything we can in our behaviour to avoid it. And that avoidance in essence is called procrastination. You have got to realise that you’ve got to heal unresolved issues within yourself, make peace with your past and then you can just dive right into it, you want to start to start a business? Go for it. You want to go on an exotic holiday? Go for it.

 

  • Only do it if your heart is in it. Time and time again I know of people who are starting something but they have little passion for what they are actually doing because they have been using their mind to do it all the time instead of their heart. I’m using my heart space to connect with my creation. Most people use their mind space to connect with their creation and that’s why it’s not fun, it’s pretty boring and when it comes to doing it you don’t want to do it. Once you start to put your heart in something, that’s fun for you, you don’t want to delay it with that, you just want to dive right in. So put some heart into it.

 

  • If you started one week ago, realise how far you would of come. This is something that is quite trippy to me. If I could of only started anything a week before, then I would of been a week ahead. So if you want to learn a language, for example I speak English and Filipino (Tagalog), but I want to learn more languages in fact. Sometimes when I’m looking at a language book or an app on my phone and I’m  like “I’ll just leave this until tomorrow!”. The problem is that you think that you’ve got time. There is no tomorrow, there is only right now so just imagine if you started one week ago, how far would you be right now? that’s the mind-set to stop procrastinating, so get on with it, start today and realise you are actually planting the seed that will lead to a great field of abundance.

 

  • To realise that there is only now. Don’t take life so seriously, it’s not like you are going to get out of here alive. So you’ve got nothing to lose, you want to do something then do it, you want to talk to someone, then do it, you want to approach someone when it comes to dating then do it. Because you may never see them again. Most people live their life’s in a waiting room. You think that what is there is always going to be there, no it’s not, every single moment is unique, a unique moment in time and space that can never be replicated. So most people procrastinate because they think they’ve got a lot of time, so don’t think I’ll do this next year, because you may not even be here next year! In essence who knows where you’re going to be, but right now is what you have and ask yourself how am I going to make the most of it. Some people wake up with no energy every day then there are some people who wake up to say they feel so good to be alive. Which one are you?

How to get your life back on track

Are you one of those people who say they’ve lost it all? Money, relationships, connections to family, job, self respect? Do you feel like you’re whole life is falling apart right in front of you? Are you scared? Lost like nobody is around to help? Look when I was growing up playing football and learning martial arts I fell down a lot, I lost games, competitions etc. So I’m going to tell you a very simple secret. It’s OK to fall. Growing up I didn’t really have a choice, there was always going to be times where I would lose, that’s what comes along with participating in sports.

 

In this society we are told that we have to be perfect all the time. Do you know what this does to your mind, body and soul? We now live with tremendous expectations to be somebody that we are not, and that is why you feel broken, because you are trying to be fixed, in essence, trying to be someone else. The bottom line is you’re not broken even though you feel like you are broken. Many times we don’t realise that we can rewrite our story anytime. We’re only on chapter one, and yes it’s looking pretty grim. You can erase chapter one and rewrite it again, or you can wait for chapter two and realise that it’s going to get a whole lot better. You see, it’s really in the hardest moments that you learn the most about yourself, you’re pushing the limits and nobody is getting off. Every day I’m dealing with a lot of stuff but the inner voice in my head is always helping me. If you don’t smile, then you’re going to cry, so learn how to not feel guilty about enjoying yourself.

 

What are some of the words you’re saying? Some people say My life is a mess. Do you know what that does to your subconscious mind? It makes you live a very messy life, but more so your daily activities are going to be messy, because you have said that, the word is now bond that means you have to justify what you’ve just said through your daily actions. The whole of life is art, and what you think is broken is just a temporary state because this will pass. You see, many of us, we’re looking over the fence, we’re looking at someone else’s life wishing we had there’s. Looking at someone else’s life and thinking their life is perfect and ours is broken. Many of us place too much pressure on ourselves to achieve. So you want to do what your parents want, you want to work at this big company, but you’ve got to ask yourself are you taking care of yourself, because you can’t do none of that if your mind-set is not focussing on the positives. So once you learn how to fall you realise that the only thing bad about falling is the ego, the ego will trick you into thinking there is something wrong with falling, no, you can’t have up without down. When you fall you now have a chance to rise, so without falling there will be no rise, without darkness you won’t be able to see the stars. Many times we don’t see that every single day is totally different, now that seems pretty simple but many people forget that.

 

There’s a concept called “The million pound effect”, that it’s all about our emotional bank balance, so let’s just say I have you a million pounds and you say you’re life has changed for the good. You see many of us we’re living from the outside in instead of the inside out, so epigenetics, let me break it down for you, scientists now know that perception governs DNA. That’s why if you say you’re life is broken, you’re DNA is going to echo and then your DNA is broken. So all the areas in your life is going to be effected, work is bond. So instead of saying you’re life is a mess just say instead that your falling down in style at the moment, but you’ll be back up soon. It’s OK to fall, there is no shame in it whatsoever. My life is not perfect, I’m not a saint, I didn’t come here to be perfect. I didn’t come here what my parents what me to do, I didn’t come here to do what society wanted me to do. I didn’t come here to please people and live up to their expectations. No, I came here to be authentic, If you can accept yourself you can learn to heal yourself. If you can let go of this guilt, this shame, if you can learn how to forgive yourself, if you can realise your mistakes don’t define one bit because everything in this world is inner regenerative process, when you cut yourself, it heals so you have all the cells in your body working for you.

 

Now let’s talk about the million pound effect, if I was to give you that money you’d feel fantastic, but it’s just paper, although it does govern our every single action, and that’s why we feel broken. We’ve based our whole life on external gratification. If I was to take away all the money from your bank account, how would you feel? Broken, or happy, happy if you have based your whole life on the inner journey and that’s the secret, you have to realise that you don’t have to be this person that walks alone all the time, you don’t have to carry the whole world on your back. When you feel broken, then that’s the time perfect time to invite new people into your life, people that don’t judge you all the time  because once you’re broken you’re going to feel vulnerable, naked and insecure, that’s why you’ve got to be very selective on who you surround yourself with, and selective of the kind of energy you surround yourself with. What’s helped me personally is not taking myself seriously, what I do know for when I’m going through really hard times is because I’m not in alignment to my true life purpose, you’ve got to allow yourself permission to let go of whatever is not serving you. PPT – People not serving you, Places not serving you, Things not serving you. Many of us we live upstairs all the time so what you should do today is live downstairs for a change, which is your whole entire body, turn to nature, there’s the reason why I ended up in heaven a lot. I’m not blaming myself for yesterdays actions because today is a new start. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy , but it becomes easier when you let go of this idea of being a perfect person. Take small steps, forget about giant leaps, be proud of what you’re doing every single day write it down on paper, say I did this and this is bringing me closer to being in true alignment to my true life purpose, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise that you can’t do whatever you came here to do. So once again, rewrite the story, chapter one not going so well, then don’t worry about it because chapter two is coming. You don’t like chapter one? Erase it and let’s start again.

 

Five steps to overcome shyness

Now this is not just for relationships, this is for people dealing with panic attacks, anxiety, fear. We feel nervous when we approach people, but why? Here is what’s helped me along my life. Five areas that we have to look at.

 

  • Status anxiety. This is the biggest cause and reason why many of us feel shy, we have to realise that many of us, the anxiety we have is because we are living in the past or the future, in essence we’re out of the present moment. The anxiety is anticipation, and now that is why a lot of us feel shy because we are waiting for something to happen that never takes place, so to overcome this, the solution is to move into our bodies and absorb ourselves into the present moment. Start taking those gigantic deep breaths right from the base of your spine, feel the air invade your body and be thankful. Being nervous around girls I’ve had experience with that, and also being nervous around men. Status anxiety is where we equate what we do with who we are, the job you have, the job you do that is just a function. It’s not a definition of who you are. We have to let go of who we think we are to become who we are, that is how to stop being shy to let go of any identity of ourselves. As long as you identify with the identity that society has given you, you can never be free.

 

  • Perception, belief, how we see ourselves. The perception we have of ourselves is much greater than the perception other people have of us, and that’s why once we can change our mind we change our world, once we can change the belief system, it’s all bullshit need I say more! It’s amazing because many people they don’t see themselves in positive light we have to change that we have to see ourselves in a much higher regard, you have to become your greatest fan, start clapping for yourself start screaming start shaking.

 

  • A lack of self love. Many of us in relationships if we feel nervous when we are approaching a women, when we are approaching a man, this is because we don’t feel worthy, we don’t feel like we deserve to be in their presence, and this shows in our actions, it shows in our behaviour. So to get around this, we have to start changing the words we say to ourselves when we are having this inner dialogue “I am no good”, “I am good enough”. The words are vibrations, the words are the commands that govern our every action. The self love, once we have it within ourselves it overflows to everyone we meet. To start attracting love and respect we must stop searching for love and respect and start cultivating it within ourselves because this bosts our confidence which is all about trusting ourselves therefore we can talk to anyone and we then feel comfortable.

 

  • Love your body. Embrace your body one hundred percent. It doesn’t matter if you are fat or thin, your body is your vehicle, it is your temple, therefore you have to love every single cell within your body. We have to realise that if we are unhappy about our body, it shows in every interaction that we have. Therefore even if we feel our body could change to help us become better versions of ourselves, what we have to do is see that is is in progress it is already being done through our action through our will. We must never see our bodies as burdens because that is the biggest reason why people feel shy because we feel inadequate we don’t feel good enough. You ask people “how are you?”.”I’m fine.” But their body language feels otherwise. Over ninety per cent of communication is non verbal, therefore the body never lies.

 

  • Leave your comfort zone. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone, push yourself past your boundaries and it frees you. I’ve done this along my life, I want to talk to someone, a total stranger but with me I don’t see them as a stranger, and that’s how I can talk to anybody. Dare yourself to do something you think you can’t. Set yourself a personal challenge, place a bet, It’s amazing just to see how a lot of us, we have what I call ‘surface relationships’, and that’s where we are afraid of going into the deep end. afraid of any intimacy, the more intimate you become with yourself then the more intimate you become with other people. This in turn reduces our fear and makes us less shy, we have nothing left to lose. The first time many of us when we were embarrassed was the first time many of us lost our innocence. Many of us are shy in relationships because we want something, so we’re approaching someone and we want to get something out of them. When you don’t want anything, when you want to give instead of just taking for yourself, you don’t feel shy because you can’t be rejected. Many of us that is the biggest reason why we feel shy because the fear of rejection. So we have to love ourselves.

 

To stop being shy it’s not going to happen overnight its going to take dedication in setting yourself up a personal challenge every single day to move out of your comfort zone. I am still doing it through my life now because there is always an opportunity for expansion , to move out of your comfort zone to become greater.

How to know if it’s love or lust

Are you in love? or in lust?

 

Many times we see someone and our jaw drops, and we say I love you, what I’ve seen through my life is that underneath everything lies sexual energy. This is the force permeating everything in existence, so when we talk of the feminine and the masculine, the universe created us to merge together. The true marriage is within ourselves. What is the difference between love and lust? I see it like this, lust is the personal desire and love is about sharing. Love is about what you can give to the other person. Lust is about what you want to take away. You go to the park with a friend and you then say wow she is gorgeous! Then your friend says you don’t even know her. That’s before when I was so rooted in my ru-shakra, because what we fail to see is that when we are lusting after someone, we are only seeing one side of who they are, people only show us, what we want to see. So when we talk of are you in love or are you in lust, we have to ask ourselves this, because it can save us a lot of hassle and stress. Many relationships are ruined because of lust, certain people start talking to other people, they are lusting after a new and different person because of their sexual energy. We have to see that a lot of the times that with love there is a lot of responsibility, that is why many people don’t choose that option.

 

I look at it in terms of two dynamics that work. Firstly you have the water relationships, which is the organic relationship, this is based around non attachment and the universal love. On the flip side we have the coca cola relationship and this is all about personal desire, the feeling isn’t mutual, it is energy depleting instead of energy generating like the water (organic and natural) relationship. A lot of times when somebody says I love you, that is a subliminal message for I want you. I always say to myself what do I want? Because many times when we are lusting over someone, we don’t even know what we really want. We want instant gratification. Sometimes we just like the look of their eyes and that is beautiful, because the secret of it is that falling in love is nature’s way of helping us reproduce. Nature is so intelligent, that’s why many of us, we love form, we love symmetry, we love shape and different sizes, and that is perfectly natural, because the human body is a work of art. And lust is not just men, women also lust, certain women love men with big shoulders or specific facial features, we all do it because it’s natures way of helping us reproduce. But we have to ask ourselves there are levels of attraction here. When you are just attracted to someone based on their appearance, you miss out on seeing the inner radiance of who you are talking to and that is so much more powerful than the outer shell, and that’s what love does.

 

True love does exist and when people say I love you, they mean it. It’s never what you say, it’s the energy behind it that matters, so it’s about the feeling which is essential here. Though a lot of the times, when we are lusting after someone we feel nervous, that is the sign, we say I need. With love there is no effort involved. Have you ever wondered that we only feel anxious when we are approaching who ever it may be, when we want something, and that’s what lust does. Lust can make you do some crazy things, it can make you act out of your natural element, love is about letting go, it’s about expansion. We just need to remember that once we connect to our heart we let love guide us, and not fear. Many times we see someone and we say she is the one or she is the one, lust is very quick however, it should only be the catalyst to love. True love opens up a higher nature, this keeps us in our lower nature in the raising the vibration we must re connect back to the higher energies of ourselves and that is the pure love energy.

 

I will never change my opinion of the female body, that’s what every man says. I said that a few years ago and I still know that within my heart that is the truth, because nature is a great artist, but as you raise your vibration, you begin to see women in a different way. A lot of people say That’s a nice piece of meat, that’s a nice arse, but in becoming more aware you realise that could be a family member, someone else’s daughter, what are we doing? So you develop that awareness to appreciate beauty but not to become consumed by it. Deep love is were you develop a deeper intricate intimacy with that person. Lust is when you see someone and think Oh that’s a beautiful women or Oh that guy has got a nice shirt on, he’s driving a Ferrari. Then you see someone else, you see one beautiful women then you see another one and then another one, because lust can never make up it’s mind. Lust just replaces you. With true love, if you are injured, then that person will still be around, they will be with you through your highs and your lows. With lust, the push comes to show, you won’t see that person, so for me I always say, develop intimacy with every interaction you have, there is no wrong or right in the universe, there are only actions or consequences. So we have to see that, are we creating something that’s going to grow? Or are we just there for the quickie?